Everytime
by xxSpreadYourWingsxx
Summary: After a rape and a pregnancy, Bella Swan thought she was finally free to cry herself to sleep to release the pain Edward caused her by leaving...2 years after her pregnancy, she discovers how wrong she was. Takes place in NM/AU. Full Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** xxSpreadYourWingsxx a.k.a. Denise

**Title:** Everytime

**Summary:** Inspired by the song Everytime by Britney Spears, but NOT exactly a song fic. This story is set during NM, and It starts 2 months after Edward leaves. Bella was raped and she got pregnant, at the age of eighteen, with her rapist's children. Bella decided to keep her children while fighting the emotional problems that the rape brought. Now, two years later, more drama hits her. Between Jacob imprinting on her baby, a car accident, being in a state of deep coma, what could be added to this mess?? Easy, the Cullens' return. THE FINALE HASN'T BEEN DECIDED YET. Feedbacks and reviews are needed and appreciated!

**Characters:** the ones owned by Stephenie Meyer plus Edward Anthony Jacob Swan and Renesmee Alice Carlie Swan.

**A.N.:** I never liked alternative ending, but lately I changed my mind and I wanted to try and write something like that. This is actually a dream I'm having every night and I feel like if I don't write it down, It'll hunt me forever! lOl. I hope you like it.

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**Everytime**

**BPOV**

"COM' ON BELLA, KEEP ON PUSHING. COM'ON WE'RE ALMOST DONE! YOU'RE DOING AN AMAZING JOB!". The Doctor kept yelling at me. I screamed out in pain as I pushed one last time. Finally, babies' cries erupted in the surgery room.

"Congratulations Bella, you made it! Look what a wonderful pair of twins we have here! A beautiful little girl and a strong little boy!". I lifted my head-which felt twice its size after all that pushing- to see my two little miracles. The best thing that happened to me after my Edward left me.

Actually, being raped and finding out you're carrying your rapist's child is not exactly the best thing that could happened to a girl; especially when you found out you're pregnant with twins, at the age of 18. But I needed someone to love unconditionally, someone that wouldn't break my heart by leaving me behind; and maybe children are what I needed. That's what helped me though the pregnancy.

I was already heart-broken after _he_ left…but then after I got raped…I felt numb. It was hard for me to fight all of this; but, another consolation was knowing that I wasn't alone. My dad and Jacob were with me though it all. Renee and Phil too took the first fly to Forks as soon as they were told what happened. Both my dad and Jacob felt guilty because they couldn't save me from being raped. No matter how many times I've told them they could have done nothing.

We couldn't imagine I would've been raped in Port Angeles anyway, so It isn't their fault, it's mine if all. After _Edward_ left me, since I didn't care at all about my security -as I thought I had nothing to lose-, I went to Port Angels often...especially alone. If someone would've told me that, that faithful cold November night would've happened what actually did, I wouldn't have gone there alone, walking though the dark streets of the city.

It's August now and, as I held my children in my arms, I feel somehow whole again. Of course, there will always be a missing part of me, the part that _Edward _took with him; but I need to stay strong for my children. They need a strong parent that had to be both mom and dad, since they'll live with just me and Charlie. But then again Jake will be a sort of big brother to them.

"So Miss Swan, how are we going to call them?". I've been thinking a lot about the names, since I found out they were twins. Their names were a pathetic way to "celebrate" what I had with these people. Or at least, what I thought I had. I knew I was supposed to hate them for hurting me like that by leaving; but deep down I knew I couldn't.

"Edward Anthony Jacob Swan and Renesmee Alice Carlie Swan". By now tears were rolling down my checks. _He_ said "It will be as if I never existed". Oh boy, he was so wrong. This way I was sure I would never forget him. Not that I had a doubt, but I needed to say his name out loud, to hold someone I loved with all myself close to me. This way I would NEVER forget.

Everyone was mentioned. My beloved Edward; my best friend Jacob; Esme and Renèe; my best friend Alice and Carlisle and Charlie. Esme and my mom's names formed the name Renesmee, and Carlisle and Charlie formed Carlie, my baby girl's middle name.

"What wonderful names. They suit them, you know...". The nurse was trying to be nice to me, seeing as I was still in pain and I was crying.

I asked to have just female nurses and doctors, since I still had problems trusting men. It was really…embarrassing…but sometimes I was scared of being in a petrol station with all men. The Doctor said It was normal, so I didn't have to be ashamed of that.

"Ok, now we're going to clear them up, and then we'll bring them in your room as soon as possible". I headed her my children and another nurse took me to my room where my parents with Phil and Jacob already stood, along with Jessica, Angela, Ben and Mike. The others were all outside, because the nurses wouldn't let them in all at once.

"Congrats, honey. You made it. I can't wait to see my grandchildren. I bet they're beautiful!" My mom Renee was as excited as I was. After all, It doesn't happens every day that you're eighteen years-old daughter gives birth of twins.

"Thanks, mom. Yes, they took them to clear them up. They'll bring them as soon as they finish". I repeated her what the nurse told me, while I hugged my girl friends.

"Oh My Gosh, Bella. I can't believe it. It seems yesterday you came in our school, and now we're at the hospital waiting to see your children. I bet you're excited. I am for sure. It's so amazing..." as always Jessica went on and on with her rambling, but this time I was happy to hear her talk like this.

I was so happy they forgave me for my previous behavior. I was a zombie before the pregnancy. But after I found out, I changed. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it was because of my fear of being alone again, or maybe because I understood that my friends needed more attentions, especially if I didn't want to be lambed as a whore for being pregnant at eighteen. I was so scared for nothing. My friends helped me though it all. They laughed and cried with me. Especially Angela. She also came to the hospital as soon as she got the news I got raped.

Actually, she was with me when I came for the routine exams, to see if I had gotten infections or bad diseases, and that's when they told me I was three weeks pregnant. I cried as soon as my doctor told me, but she was there holding me and telling me everything was going to be alright. Our friendship got stronger thanks to everything that happened…and I couldn't be happier about that. Even though I missed my first real _bestfriend_…_my sister_…Alice Cullen.

After half an hour of chatting and laughing and opening presents, my dad and Jake went to the cafeteria dragging Ben; Mike and Phil with them. Charlie and Jacob knew I still had problems trusting men, especially when none of them two were there with me, telling me they would never let anything happen to me.

Just as they exited the room, a nurse came in with Edward and Renesmee.

"Oh My Gosh, Bella. They're absolutely beautiful!!"

"I've never seen two babies cuter than them!"

"Oh, God; I'm a Grandma!!"

The room was filled with "aww"s and compliments and a proud smile formed on my lips as happy tears escaped from my eyes. "What are their names?". I knew this question would actually come out, I just hope I wouldn't have blushed like I did. "Edward Anthony Jacob Swan and Renesmee Alice Carlie Swan". More traitor tears rolled down my checks.

"Oh, Bella". Angela was the first to understand and she came to hug me. Soon after, my mom and Jess were hugging me too.

"I just…felt like…I had to…" I said pausing from word to word. I didn't want my voice to break and give it away.

"I think Edward is a good name for this little one, and honestly I imagined you would have done something like this, but why Renesmee…I mean, I absolutely love it, it suits this pretty little girl, but it's unusual..." Jess asked nervously.

"It's a mix between my mother and...Edward's… mother's name…". I spoke Edward's name carefully. My mom sensed this and her hand caressed my shoulder.

"I love it". She said with a understanding smile. I couldn't help but give her a smile. Then a knock was heard and the boys came inside.

"Ooh, look at what we have here!". Typical Mike Newton. I guess you just have to get used to him. He can be a great friend when he understands situations. He really helped me with my sudden mood changes and with my trust problems. He never held my hand, and never tried anything. He just limited at being a good friend.

"Oh God, I can't believe it. My grandchildren…". My dad was absent while he looked at Edward and Renesmeè. Jacob too was mesmerized by the babies. He kept looking at Renesmee as if she was the only one in the room...like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time…really strange. But then It hit me.

"Oh my God, Jake, tell me this is a joke!". No answer

"Jacob Black answer me, NOW!". His head tilted up and he looked at me with an absent look on his face.

"No, it can't…you can't...NO!!!" I was starting to rising my voice when someone called from the door.

"Okay folks, visits time's up! I'm sorry but you have to go, Miss Swan needs sleep". A small yet large nurse told us.

" I guess we'll see you when you get out from here. We'll come as soon as possible. Bye Bella" my friends said goodbye and they kissed my babies on the forehead before disappear in the hallway.

"Bella, honey, what's gotten into you…rising your voice like that…" My mom looked at me like I was crazy.

"Nothing mom, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just tired. Could you and dad please leave me and Jake alone one second…please?!". I needed to talk to that _stupid dog_ of my best friend right now!!

"Ok, honey. Me and Phil will come tomorrow morning. Bye Bells, love you. Bye Edward, Bye Renesmee". My mom also kissed the babies' heads and my forehead before going back to the hotel with Phil.

"Ok Bells, I'll be home. If you need something, Jacob will be here with you. Don't hesitate to call me if you need something."

"Don't worry dad, we will. Bye". I said without breaking eye contact with Jacob.

"Ok, so...bye". And my dad left too.

"Bells, before you attack me, remember when I told you about Quil. You didn't take it that bad! It's the same thing!". I could see he was trying so hard to make me see the situation in a different way, but I was too furious to see things clear.

"how _could_ you!? It's _my_ baby girl. I held her _once_ and you already want to take her away from me?!" I was rising my voice as I got further into my speech.

"No!! no, no, no Bella, I won't! I'll be everything she needs. A big brother, a best friend…everything she wants! I just want her to be happy! Is this much different from what you want for her..?!"

"This is not the point..." I knew I had no point of fighting with Jake, but I just brought them in this world and HE of all people wanted to take one away already?!

"Bella, please, you know I hadn't planned this. But this explains why I was so attracted by you, even though I knew, you were, no; you ARE in love with that bloodsucker…". I couldn't take it anymore.

"Go out Jacob". I wasn't really mad, even though I had tears falling from my tired eyes. I guess It was just…too much emotions for this day.

"Bells, I'm sorry I didn't want to…". I could see he was sincerely sorry, but I needed to be alone with my children now. I took a long breath and relaxed myself. After a long pause, I lifted my head and looked at Jacob straight in the eyes with a pleading look.

"I know Jake, I know. I just…need some time to…let it sink it all in…That's all. Let me think about everything. You're right. I know how these things go, but it's hard when you actually live it". I paused a moment to gain my voice. "Don't worry, you can come tomorrow". I tried to put a smile, but I failed.

"Okay Bella. 'Night. Goodnight Edward, Goodnight Nessie". I froze

"How did you call her?!". No, not like the Lock Ness Monster!!

"Renesmee It's a bit long…". I cut him off

"GO OUT JACOB!!" I yelled

"Okay, Okay..I'm out!!" and with that he went away.

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**Ok, here we have the first chapter. I hope you liked it. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. **

**Please review and let me know if you like the idea, or else I won't go on. I don't want to go on if no one likes my fic.**

**xx Denise :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Everytime**

**BPOV**

I still couldn't believe what just happened. Half an hour after I delivered my children, that stupid dog of my best friend came in and imprinted on my little daughter. She's a new born for heaven's sake!

As many thoughts travelled in my mind I couldn't help but looking at my miracles. Renesmee was beautiful beyond belief. She had blue eyes yet, but I could tell this was not her natural color; her eyes, as well as Edward's, would've changed as time passed by. Her messed hair were a dark color and her little chest rose and fell as she breathed, almost asleep in my arms. Then there was my Edward; my little Edward. His light brown hair covered is little, perfect head and, as I caressed it, he opened his still dark blue eyes to look at me.

My babies. I was a mother. And I was going to be the best, because I knew they deserved someone who would love them with all themselves.

I could feel my eyes get heavier and, after putting Renesmee in her crib and tuck them both, after several months of insomnia, I fell in a deep sleep...even though I was still sore from the birth.

The next morning I woke up to the nurse's knocking at my hospital room. After checking me and my babies out, they went away and let visitors in.

The first in line was Jacob.

I thought all night about the situation, and I still hadn't came up with anything. I knew Jake would never hurt my Renesmee, but the thought of losing her so soon was too painful. That's why I decided to talk to him. I didn't want to let the subject hanging.

"Can I come in?" Jake asked in a low voice, careful not to wake the twins.

"Yes, come in". I whispered.

"Bells, listen, I want to apologies for yesterday. I really didn't mean what I said about that- about…Edward.." he was being more careful, saying Edward's name in a lower whisper.

"Don't worry Jacob. I know you didn't want to. Anyway … I thought about the situation and…I know it's not right not letting you near Renesmee. And then, I know you're not dangerous. I just, I don't want you to take my daughter away from me…Not so soon at least. I know one day she'll grow up and she'll have a family on her own, but try to understand me, she came in this world half an hour before, and as soon as you saw her…" he cut me off without letting me end my speech.

"Bells, I know what you're trying to say. And I don't want you to worry. I would never take Nessie away from you. I told you before, I will be everything she will need. A big brother, a best friend…everything. I'll help you Bella. We'll make it though it…together, as a family". His last words were followed by his Jacob-y smile, and they reassured me.

"Thanks , Jake. For everything" tears filled my eyes as I tried to control them.

"Oh, stop now. No tears today, or ever again, you have to do it for Edward and Nessie". Oh my gosh, again with that nickname.

"Oh Gosh, Jake. Her name is Renesmee. Like Renee and Esme mixed together". I don't know why it bothered me so much. It just..did. The name I choose for my daughter was unique, just like her.

"Oh, com' on Bella, it's just a nickname…ok ok, we'll talk about this later". And in between smiles and hugs our day passed by.

That was almost two years ago. I got used to Jake calling my daughter Nessie, I just didn't use it as often as him. Right now I'm outside Charlie's front porch with my twins and Jake. It's one of these rare sunny days, so I decided to go outside with the kids. I don't know exactly why, since Charlie's garden isn't that big, nor It's well kept…I just felt like doing so. I guess watching my kids having fun was a valid enough reason.

There were days where all I would do was lock myself up in my room and cry my eyes out. I locked myself because I didn't want my children to see me like that. Fortunately during these moments I could call Jake and he'd take them at First Beach. I promised myself I would've been a strong mother; but the truth was that…sometimes I was weak.

During these days, I couldn't get _his _face out of my mind. Thinking of him made me weak, and it still does. I thought I had post-partum depression, but then again I was more than happy to be near my children, so it wasn't the case. I was just crushed; that's why I cried myself to sleep, every single night since that awful 13rd September.

But watching their chocolate brown eyes light up when the rare rays of sun hit them, makes me feel better. Both Edward and Renesmee have my eyes. Their hair are a mix between light brown and dirty blonde; and they were curly like my father Charlie's.

As they ran, in the cool Mid-September air, Renesmee's curls bounced while Edward's, which were shorter than hers of course, fell upon his eyes. I hadn't celebrated my birthday since my 18th birthday party. Jake knew about this and neither him or my dad forced me to do it. They would just say "Happy Birthday, Bella". Stop. And I loved them for this.

"Edward, Renesmee, slow down or you're going to fall!" I told them in a loud voice. If they're anything like me, then they'll fall many times in their lives.

"Oh, com' on Bells, the kids aren't klutz like you!" Charlie said. It's like he thought the same thing I was thinking…like he…read my mind. But he couldn't…and he wasn't the first that couldn't…at least not with me!

"I know, but they're just one and a half, they don't walk properly, figures run!…I'm just-" Jake cut me off, like always.

"yes, we know…you're just concerned. Bella, will you do me a favor and stop worrying once in your life?" my best friend…what can I say...he knows me well.

"Ok, I'll try." I said smiling as I watched my kids running like crazy. I couldn't help but laugh when my Edward fell on his little diaper-covered ass.

"Oh, Edward!...Come here, let's change you. Jake, can you take Renesmee inside, please?" I said walking toward Edward, who was near the sidewalk after he fell.

As I got near him, I felt something move in the forest near Charlie's garden. This is strange, because usually no animals get that near people's houses; but that was enough to scare me till death. I couldn't let anything happen to my children, they're my life now.

"Jacob" I shouted at my best friend "take Renesmee inside, please". Jake came near me with Renesmee in his arms as I took Edward in mine.

"Bella, what's u-" he suddenly stopped death in his track. "Bella, go inside". I could feel it in his voice…he went in modality Alpha. By now I was frightened.

"Jake, what do you think is that over there?" I whispered.

"I don't k-…I'm not sure. Just, go inside with the kids". I did as he told me and I went inside with Edward while Renesmee walked with her hand in mine.

I got in the bathroom, I changed Edward into his PJ and I put him in his crib and then I did the same with Renesmee. I carried them in my bedroom, where their cribs were. Since I don't have an apartment on my own, I arranged as best as I could, putting my bed on the very corner of the wall it was against before and moving my desk into the corner where there are mine and Charlie's rooms; so now they're sleeping with me.

I gently caressed Edward's head and Renesmee's check at the same time. They felt so smooth under my touch. They smelled amazing. Of baby's alcohol and talcum powder. I loved their smell. They looked at me and the world stopped spinning.

"Mama okay?" asked Edward in his baby voice.

"Yes, Mama is fine". I wasn't sure of it. "Now sleep, it's been a long day". I kissed their heads and went to my CD player. I turned it on and soon enough my lullaby started playing.

My heart shattered even more, but I found out this was a fast way to get my kids asleep. I found my things one random day, as I asked Jake some help to adjust that broken wooden board in my bedroom's floor. Jake saw them and he checked them out and, before I knew it, I was on my knees, crying my soul out. I put the picture on a frame, next to my children's and they're now on my night stand; and every night I would turn my lullaby on. They actually got used to it, and they're always asking me to play it.

After I made sure they were fast asleep I went downstairs and outside the house to see where Jacob was. I could see he was in his werewolf form since his clothes were on my front porch. So I went inside and headed for my room. I lied on my bed, waiting for sleep to overcome me. It was useless. Until Jake came back to tell me what was that thing in the forest, I wouldn't succeed.

That was until I heard the door downstairs open. I knew it was Jake because my dad was out for his night-shif -he started working on nights 2 years ago to earn some more to support his grandchildren too, despite my job was enough already-.

I got on my feet instantly and I opened my bedroom's door to find Jake about to knock.

"Jake, what's going on?" he could tell by my facial expression I was worried sick.

"Bella…I…" this wasn't a good sign. Jake never hesitated aside from when the situation was unbearable.

"Jacob, please tell me. I'm dying here!" and I really was.

"Bells, It…It was a vampire". This was all it took the put me on my knees. I broke down, literally.

I leaned against the door as I slid down, my world coming crashing down.

"Bella…Bella, please, let me finish…It's not one of the Cullens…" He said this trying to make me feel better. But I don't know if it's this that brought me more down, or the fact that outside there was an unknown vampire near my children. I then noticed Jacob was still talking.

"…but I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't recognize…_it"_ it was like he split venom though his words.

"We…we have t-to…" I couldn't speak at all. I was shocked, hurt, scared…broken.

Not only they weren't back, and I was now losing hope they would every time soon, but there was a menace that made me take the hardest of the decisions. A decision I haven't been able to take neither before, nor now after my children's birth. I don't remember exactly how, but I eventually found the straight to talk.

"Jacob, we have to move out of this town. As soon as possible". This was like hitting my stomach with a knife, over and over again.

I never wanted to move from Forks. This was my home, but I knew I had to. For my children. I couldn't live my life hoping they would eventually came back. There wasn't any coming back now. I knew he had moved on, after all he said he didn't want me anymore. But now I had to look out for my children, my now ONLY reason for being. No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't let anything happen to them; I wouldn't never forgive myself otherwise, and the pain would be unbearable.

"Bells, wait…where are you going to stay…I mean, we need a little time to plan everything, I can't let you move out without planning where you three are going to stay…think of all th-" I knew Jake was worried for our sake, but deep down I knew he was more worried about Renesmee and not being able to see her. I had thought about everything in less than 10 minutes.

"we're going to my mom's, neither in Jacksonville or back in Phoenix. I don't remember my mom telling me she sold the old house; and then It's always sunny in there, Edward and Renesmee will be safe, and no vampires will come" They wouldn't have, I was almost one hundred per cent sure about that.

A weird silence followed. Not Jake or I knew what to say, what to think…what to feel. Jacob wouldn't have been able to see Renesmee as often as now, unless he moved with us; but this way he'd have to leave his "brothers". He's a tie too. He's tied between the love he feels for his soul-mate and the love for his family…decide was inevitable, but it was also painful.

I put myself together and stood up on my feet, barely staying up, and then I turned to my room, to see my angels fast asleep in their cribs…the music still playing. I went inside and turned it off. I couldn't take more of it…not all at once at least.

"you know this is painful for me too…" even if I didn't look up at him, he knew I was talking to him " and also for them, but it's…for the best…I can't let anything happen to them. I just…can't…" with every word I spoke I could feel my shoulders shake with sobs. They loved Forks, but this was no longer the safest place.

"I understand perfectly. You're absolutely right. You…have to go away…" the thought of us going away from him hurt him..and I knew that. "you start pack everything up right now, I'll book the tickets for the next flight to Phoenix". I could hear it in his voice, his humor changed. He wasn't sad anymore, he was concerned, scared and ready to do everything in his power to make us safe. And he would have.

"Okay". I said in a whisper. Jacob and I shared a sad look and, before I even knew that, I was back in my room packing all my things, ready to go back to the city that has been my home before I moved to Forks…I was going back to Phoenix.

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**And the second chapter is done too! ****please review! ****and thanks for your previous reviews :)****  
Love xx Denise**


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